A joke from my friend Lazaro:
The President, the First Lady, and Dick Cheney are flying on Air Force One.
George looks at Laura, chuckles, and says, "You know, I could throw a $1,000.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy!"
Laura shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Cheney then says, "Of course, I could throw one-hundred $10.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his co-pilot, "Such big shots back there...hell, I could throw all of them out the window and make 56 million people very happy."
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Another joke from my friend Long Island Paul:
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." he sighed,
"let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."